I am currently in a position that a
lot of 20- somethings find themselves in: living
with not-the-most-ideal roommates that I met off craigslist. I’m not
complaining, I have done it before – though I hope to the great spaghetti
monster I do not have to do it again– and it’s basically a rite of passage when
you are starting out. I get it. For the purpose of this blog, let’s just say my
roommates and I have some definite cultural differences, especially when it
comes to cooking/kitchen habits and preferred level/definition of cleanliness.
In terms of being “friends” or “hanging out”….well…that doesn’t happen.
I’ll spare you my list of grievances
and give a little background instead: I moved in with two Chinese girls (
as in from China, not San Francisco) in August. Let’s call them X and Y. Our kitchen was a
mess of boxes and empty take out containers for the first month and a half, but
now the boxes are in the dining room (seriously, is it that hard to unpack?)
and the containers make it to the refrigerator or trashcan about 50 % of the
time. They are even buying groceries,
which generally include unwrapped oysters in our ice try and large bags of
mystery meat and bone on the counter. I have tried a few times to promote my
western habits of cleanliness and, you know, health standards to no avail and I
have resolved to pretty much accept most of the kitchen ridiculousness they can
dish out (within reason).
Enter the game.
So a few times a week I will come
home to find one of the following:
a)
A bag of mystery “meat” on the
counter;
b)
A large bowl of something soaking;
c)
A little pot completely bubbling
over ( that stays bubbling over for an hour
or two);
d)
The hammering of something I can
only describe as bone and guts in a bag;
e)
Other ( something
ridiculous and beyond description).
The parts of the game are simple – it
can be played alone or with friends, sent via photo message, etc. and it
consists of just 3 simple questions:
1)
Food or not food;
2)
What is it?
3)
What will it be used for.
I have pretty much mastered question
1, but I have been surprised once or twice.
I have only gotten question 2 half
right – answers include mushrooms soaking in a mystery substance with mystery
floating objects, ham hocks? , some sort of animal intestine or organ.
I have never been right on question
3.
It might seem unorthodox, or like I
am making fun of culture, or being immature, etc. but I don’t see it that way.
The game is my way of taking an un-ideal situation and making it more
enjoyable. I find some of the things lurking on the counters totally gross, but
the prospect of figuring out what happens ( and
if I will be right) is exciting. Instead of being embarrassed at the state of
the kitchen when I have company, I bring them in on the game and my
embarrassment becomes a party trick – Just call me Marry Poppins.
I’ll leave you with an example start
to finish:
Saturday I awoke to the sound of
hammering, when I later entered the kitchen I saw (and smelled) a bowl of ham
hocks; a bag of blood, crushed bone, and tissue; and a scent that can only be
described as vomit.
Food or not food? Food – I thought
it would just be used for flavor but it was definitely a consumable later in
the day.
We already answered question 2, so
on to 3 – what will it be used for? Dumpling filling. Did I guess that? No.
The girls had a party later that
evening and were sweet enough to offer me some dumplings. I considered the
request but had to respectfully decline. It would have been a step in the right
direction for our relationship and my game but really... I am not that
committed to winning.
